TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT (2017) - When it's time to stop
Transformers: The Last Knight is a 2017 science fiction action movie directed by Michael Bay, starring Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, and Laura Haddock. The fifth installment of the Transformers franchise follows a group of people as they ally with the shape-shifting Transformers to prevent the destruction of Earth by searching through the secrets of the Transformers' past.
My cousin told me he'll write my review for me as we left the movie theater today. "Four words," he said. "Don't go watch it." No truer words have been spoken. I'll be honest with you when I say it was a struggle to write that first paragraph because I really had to sit there and wonder to myself, "What actually happened in that movie?" I had to look up the synopsis for the movie for help, but to no surprise even that is extremely vague (look it up for yourself and see). In fact, as I write this it has been no more than three hours since I've left the movie theater and I can't even remember how the movie ended. So yeah, the movie sucked. Were we really expecting anything else? Sadly, I kind of did and I was pretty disappointed that I wasted my night with this garbage. Let's talk about it.
The Story
Probably the best thing about this movie was its marketing. The Transformers series--and director Michael Bay--has long gained a reputation for being dumb summer blockbusters with hot girls and big explosions, and I think the marketers know we're all a little bit tired of this already. To make up for this, the trailers and marketing made the film out to be dark, gritty, and mature--and I really bought into it. The first time I saw the trailer for the movie, I really was impressed with just how GOOD it looked. For perhaps the first time in the entire series, The Last Knight promised to be a mature drama with a compelling, dark story and a hopefully memorable cast.
This is all a lie.
The movie has one of the most incomprehensible plots I've ever seen, and a good portion of the time I had no idea what was going on or what the characters were even trying to do at the moment--not because I wasn't paying attention but because everything was so badly pieced together that there was absolutely no flow to any of the scenes. Midway through the movie I left for 10 minutes and came back, and I felt like I missed out on absolutely nothing because of how choppy the editing is (more on the editing later).
The Last Knight isn't even half as dark or mature as the trailers make it out to be. Sure, it's all about preventing the destruction of the planet, but never in the movie does it feel the least bit urgent and we don't ever feel like the characters are in any danger. It wouldn't even be that hard to make a darker, grittier movie that still feels like a Transformers movie. Majora's Mask was a dark game, and yet it still felt every bit as much a Zelda game as Ocarina of Time was. But alas, The Last Knight was just unable to take any risks, resulting in a story that's not really as bad as Revenge of the Fallen or Age of Extinction, but still a very boring and immediately forgettable one nonetheless.
The Characters
Mark Wahlberg reprises his role as struggling inventor Cade Yeager from the last movie, a character with as much depth as a paper bag with "I'm the badass male lead" written in Sharpie on it. His acting is fine, but he clearly wasn't trying very hard. The dialogue was terrible all around so he didn't really have much to work with anyway. Laura Haddock plays Vivian Wembly, a doctor/professor/philosopher/whatever (actual quote from the movie) who has zero distinguishing qualities other than "kind of looks like Natalie Portman, but less pretty and less talented". The two leads also are supposed to get romantically involved but their lack of any chemistry makes it hardly believable. The amazing Anthony Hopkins is wasted as some old guy who does nothing in the whole film, and sometimes I couldn't even tell if he was a good guy or a bad guy. Maybe it's because I'll always see him as Dr. Hannibal Lector in a much, much better movie.
Isabella Moner plays Izabella "with a Z", a 14-year old girl featured in all the marketing material in order to make the movie look like it has depth and character drama by tricking you into thinking a large part of the movie will be devoted to developing a father-daughter relationship between Wahlberg's character (single father whose daughter from the last movie is currently in college as an excuse to not have her in this movie) and Izabella "with a Z" (orphan tomboy who can take care of herself thank-you-very-much), perhaps taking inspiration from better works like Logan or The Last of Us. This is also another lie that the trailers told you, since she is completely inconsequential to the story and you could literally remove her and nothing would change. She disappears from the movie about 30 minutes in and reappears quite literally out of nowhere over an hour later. At one point in the final act, Wahlberg's character asks her "What are you even doing here?" to which she replies--as if she had read my mind--, "I don't really know." Cheeky move screenwriters, but you don't get any points by actively pointing out how your character has no role in your movie whatsoever.
Optimus Prime also gets the spotlight in the trailers as he is shown to be brainwashed to fight the other Autobots and help destroy the world (because reasons?), so you'd think he's a central character in the movie. This is yet another lie, and he is also pretty inconsequential to most of the story (spot the pattern yet?). I'm sorry if this constitutes as a spoiler, but he literally is brainwashed and fights Bumblebee for all of two minutes before the power of love and friendship or whatever helps him overcome his mind control. He isn't even in the movie for more than twenty minutes, tops. The other Transformers are also pretty forgettable as well, even fan favorites like Bumblebee and Megatron don't get to do much.
All in all, the characters are just... there, and don't do much. The characters that could have been interesting are barely in the movie, and the ones that are in the movie are incredibly boring. There is also an overload of dumb jokes--mostly from the Transformers, who are treated like cartoon characters--as well as bad dialogue for all the humans that make them feel like cardboard cutouts instead of actual people.
Cinematography and Music
The editing in this movie is TERRIBLE. Most cuts don't last any longer than 5 seconds, which the longest being around 10 seconds long. This makes scenes very disorienting at times. Additionally, the movie makes a habit of cutting ahead into time a little bit too long, making me do a double take and think, "wait what just happened?" For instance, at one point in the movie, a character falls down from a considerable height only to get up on his feet and start running down a street and into a crowded area. However, they decided to cut out the footage of him actually getting up from his fall, so instead we see him fall onto the ground then immediately it cuts to him running through a crowd of people.
For a different example, there is one scene where the two lead characters get ready for a dinner together, which they insist is not a date. Instead of taking that time to expand on both characters' backstory and personality or have them actually bond with one another, the movie immediately cuts to them walking down a hall, having apparently finished eating hours ago. If you're not going to show anything important happening while they are eating, what's the point in mentioning that they're going to eat dinner?? That kind of thing isn't a huge issue, but it's incredibly jarring especially since it happens all the time throughout the entire movie, making it very difficult to follow some scenes.
Even the scenes themselves lack any sort of flow between them since the movie insists on cutting between two different locations back and forth over and over again. Many times I have to ask myself, "Wait, why are they here again?" and "What are they trying to do again?" Overall poor, poor job with cinematography and editing to the point that it hinders the viewers' ability to understand what is going on.
Even the visuals are not at all impressive. Despite the fact that Michael Bay is known for big explosions, the ones in this movie aren't even that impressive. The CGI for the Transformers are shoddy at best and outright bad at worst.
I have nothing to say about music other than there is an astonishing lack of it. Many of the scenes play out in complete or near silence, and when music does play it's either awkwardly dramatic or incredibly generic.
Final Verdict
There is nothing offensively bad about The Last Knight like some previous Transformers movies, but it just reeks of sheer boredom. Uninteresting plot and stale characters, both hindered by garbage editing makes this movie one of the worst that this summer has to offer. Amazingly, although this is Michael Bay's last Transformers movie, the series isn't done yet. A Bumblebee spin-off and a sixth Transformers movie has already been announced for the next two years. Yay.
If you want to watch better movies, I would save my money for July, which promises some really great movies like Spider-Man: Homecoming and the one I'm most excited for, War for the Planet of the Apes. If you just want to relax and watch some dumb action flicks, I'd recommend you watch 2013's Pacific Rim or 2014's incredibly underrated Edge of Tomorrow.
Score: D
The Story
Probably the best thing about this movie was its marketing. The Transformers series--and director Michael Bay--has long gained a reputation for being dumb summer blockbusters with hot girls and big explosions, and I think the marketers know we're all a little bit tired of this already. To make up for this, the trailers and marketing made the film out to be dark, gritty, and mature--and I really bought into it. The first time I saw the trailer for the movie, I really was impressed with just how GOOD it looked. For perhaps the first time in the entire series, The Last Knight promised to be a mature drama with a compelling, dark story and a hopefully memorable cast.
This is all a lie.
The movie has one of the most incomprehensible plots I've ever seen, and a good portion of the time I had no idea what was going on or what the characters were even trying to do at the moment--not because I wasn't paying attention but because everything was so badly pieced together that there was absolutely no flow to any of the scenes. Midway through the movie I left for 10 minutes and came back, and I felt like I missed out on absolutely nothing because of how choppy the editing is (more on the editing later).
The Last Knight isn't even half as dark or mature as the trailers make it out to be. Sure, it's all about preventing the destruction of the planet, but never in the movie does it feel the least bit urgent and we don't ever feel like the characters are in any danger. It wouldn't even be that hard to make a darker, grittier movie that still feels like a Transformers movie. Majora's Mask was a dark game, and yet it still felt every bit as much a Zelda game as Ocarina of Time was. But alas, The Last Knight was just unable to take any risks, resulting in a story that's not really as bad as Revenge of the Fallen or Age of Extinction, but still a very boring and immediately forgettable one nonetheless.
 |
| Funnily enough, this is the first Transformers movie to have the male lead be more oversexualized than the female one |
The Characters
Mark Wahlberg reprises his role as struggling inventor Cade Yeager from the last movie, a character with as much depth as a paper bag with "I'm the badass male lead" written in Sharpie on it. His acting is fine, but he clearly wasn't trying very hard. The dialogue was terrible all around so he didn't really have much to work with anyway. Laura Haddock plays Vivian Wembly, a doctor/professor/philosopher/whatever (actual quote from the movie) who has zero distinguishing qualities other than "kind of looks like Natalie Portman, but less pretty and less talented". The two leads also are supposed to get romantically involved but their lack of any chemistry makes it hardly believable. The amazing Anthony Hopkins is wasted as some old guy who does nothing in the whole film, and sometimes I couldn't even tell if he was a good guy or a bad guy. Maybe it's because I'll always see him as Dr. Hannibal Lector in a much, much better movie.
Isabella Moner plays Izabella "with a Z", a 14-year old girl featured in all the marketing material in order to make the movie look like it has depth and character drama by tricking you into thinking a large part of the movie will be devoted to developing a father-daughter relationship between Wahlberg's character (single father whose daughter from the last movie is currently in college as an excuse to not have her in this movie) and Izabella "with a Z" (orphan tomboy who can take care of herself thank-you-very-much), perhaps taking inspiration from better works like Logan or The Last of Us. This is also another lie that the trailers told you, since she is completely inconsequential to the story and you could literally remove her and nothing would change. She disappears from the movie about 30 minutes in and reappears quite literally out of nowhere over an hour later. At one point in the final act, Wahlberg's character asks her "What are you even doing here?" to which she replies--as if she had read my mind--, "I don't really know." Cheeky move screenwriters, but you don't get any points by actively pointing out how your character has no role in your movie whatsoever.
Optimus Prime also gets the spotlight in the trailers as he is shown to be brainwashed to fight the other Autobots and help destroy the world (because reasons?), so you'd think he's a central character in the movie. This is yet another lie, and he is also pretty inconsequential to most of the story (spot the pattern yet?). I'm sorry if this constitutes as a spoiler, but he literally is brainwashed and fights Bumblebee for all of two minutes before the power of love and friendship or whatever helps him overcome his mind control. He isn't even in the movie for more than twenty minutes, tops. The other Transformers are also pretty forgettable as well, even fan favorites like Bumblebee and Megatron don't get to do much.
All in all, the characters are just... there, and don't do much. The characters that could have been interesting are barely in the movie, and the ones that are in the movie are incredibly boring. There is also an overload of dumb jokes--mostly from the Transformers, who are treated like cartoon characters--as well as bad dialogue for all the humans that make them feel like cardboard cutouts instead of actual people.
 |
| Megatron looking intimidating before his character becomes useless fodder by the third act. I actually don't even remember what the point of this scene was. |
Cinematography and Music
The editing in this movie is TERRIBLE. Most cuts don't last any longer than 5 seconds, which the longest being around 10 seconds long. This makes scenes very disorienting at times. Additionally, the movie makes a habit of cutting ahead into time a little bit too long, making me do a double take and think, "wait what just happened?" For instance, at one point in the movie, a character falls down from a considerable height only to get up on his feet and start running down a street and into a crowded area. However, they decided to cut out the footage of him actually getting up from his fall, so instead we see him fall onto the ground then immediately it cuts to him running through a crowd of people.
For a different example, there is one scene where the two lead characters get ready for a dinner together, which they insist is not a date. Instead of taking that time to expand on both characters' backstory and personality or have them actually bond with one another, the movie immediately cuts to them walking down a hall, having apparently finished eating hours ago. If you're not going to show anything important happening while they are eating, what's the point in mentioning that they're going to eat dinner?? That kind of thing isn't a huge issue, but it's incredibly jarring especially since it happens all the time throughout the entire movie, making it very difficult to follow some scenes.
Even the scenes themselves lack any sort of flow between them since the movie insists on cutting between two different locations back and forth over and over again. Many times I have to ask myself, "Wait, why are they here again?" and "What are they trying to do again?" Overall poor, poor job with cinematography and editing to the point that it hinders the viewers' ability to understand what is going on.
Even the visuals are not at all impressive. Despite the fact that Michael Bay is known for big explosions, the ones in this movie aren't even that impressive. The CGI for the Transformers are shoddy at best and outright bad at worst.
I have nothing to say about music other than there is an astonishing lack of it. Many of the scenes play out in complete or near silence, and when music does play it's either awkwardly dramatic or incredibly generic.
Final Verdict
There is nothing offensively bad about The Last Knight like some previous Transformers movies, but it just reeks of sheer boredom. Uninteresting plot and stale characters, both hindered by garbage editing makes this movie one of the worst that this summer has to offer. Amazingly, although this is Michael Bay's last Transformers movie, the series isn't done yet. A Bumblebee spin-off and a sixth Transformers movie has already been announced for the next two years. Yay.
If you want to watch better movies, I would save my money for July, which promises some really great movies like Spider-Man: Homecoming and the one I'm most excited for, War for the Planet of the Apes. If you just want to relax and watch some dumb action flicks, I'd recommend you watch 2013's Pacific Rim or 2014's incredibly underrated Edge of Tomorrow.
Score: D
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